Decision time

Well, we started Riley's brain  surgery evaluation this past July in Cincinnati.   Cincinnati Children's is an amazing facility.  We are so impressed.  We went back in September to finish the eval and then met with Dr. Lee and Dr. Mangano.  We even just had a conference call with Dr. Mangano, to save us a 9 hour one way trip, to answer some pretty important questions.  The Drs. figured out that Riley's seizures are all coming from the left temporal lobe.  The focal is not completely clear, however.  The Drs. speculate that the focal could be near Riley's speech and language center which could prove the surgery riskier than it needs to be.  So, Phase II has been proposed so the Drs. can put electrodes directly on the brain and monitor Riley's seizures.  They'll also map out his speech and language center while they are "in there".  We also need to try to get a Functional MRI if Riley will cooperate.  Riley is 8 but he has cognitive delays and high anxiety because of Tuberous Sclerosis. 
It's simply unfair to have to make this decision.  It requires super bionic mind power and I pray nightly for God to enter my dreams and tell me what He thinks we should do!  I think He did enter my dreams a few weeks ago as a Great Pyrenees dog. He was huge, white, beautiful and sitting on top on a hill with a glow all around him.  He was just staring at me when all of a sudden a smaller, skinny brown dog started running towards me growling.  At first I was scared but then I decided to take care of the little brown dog.  I fed him and then gave him shelter when it started to rain.  I felt so proud of myself because I made the brown dog feel safe.  I woke up saying "mijo" over and over.  I don't speak Spanish so I had to look up the meaning, well lo and behold, mijo means "my son".  Dreams can be amazing!!
We still have some people we need to talk to - like parents of other children with TS that have had brain surgery.  But, *gulp* I think we are going to proceed.  The thought of Riley being seizure free overwhelms me with hope and joy that is so often fleeting in our world of TS.