I need to relax a bit

Well, I got to thinking today that having a special needs child really dominates my whole thought process. If Riley has a headache, there is a tiny part of my brain, that I often try to ignore, that likes to think Riley has intracranial pressure and will soon end up with hydrocephalus. It’s possible with tuberous sclerosis. But can’t Riley have a headache just because he has a simple headache? I had a headache yesterday and I don’t have tuberous sclerosis. If Riley complains of his back hurting that same traitor part of my brain jumps to the conclusion that his kidneys are failing him. Again, possible with tuberous sclerosis, but couldn’t his back just hurt because he slept on it wrong?
I also think in diagnosis terms all the time. “Oh, that is just his ADD, or his OCD, and let’s throw in a little ODD (just a little), and we can’t forget about his ASD and CAPD that causes some of his learning disabilities.” After reading another mom’s blog I realized (for the 1000th time) that some of Riley’s behaviors are very, very typical for a “normal” child. Riley can be stubborn, strong -willed, and exhibit selective hearing just like any other “normal” child.
So, I find myself dissecting his behaviors like a biologist would dissect a frog. “Is this because of this? Is that because I that?” I read too many books on disorders and I have too much fun with Psychology Today magazine. These are worlds I get though and my son is the portal.
Riley drew an amazing collage of a face, a self portrait the other day. On one piece of paper he drew a big blue eye and on another piece of paper he drew a bigger brown eye with blue eyelashes all around the eye. They were taped together on his bedroom wall and a nose and mouth were taped below it, so it looked like one giant “T”.  I was impressed; it totally could go into an art museum. (Proud mama talking.)
Here is the conversation that took place as I was making his bed the other morning.

“Riley, I love your picture! The eyes are incredible. Just curious, why is one eye brown?”

Riley bouncing his giant bouncy ball, “I don’t know mom.”

“Ok, well your eyes are blue so I was just wondering why one eye was brown and it’s so much bigger than the other with all of those eyelashes. It’s so cool. Really, why is one eye brown?”

Riley is still bouncing his ball but he’s getting mad at me for asking questions , so with a much louder and more perturbed voice he says, “just because mom!”

Well, so much for psychology 101, right? Special needs or not, I just need to relax a bit and ironically it is my son that teaches me that lesson everyday.
I still want to know why one eye is brown though!

Smiles

So, it's now 3 months post surgery and we are going NUTS!  Doctors forgot to mention a "little" thing called "behavioral changes" post surgery!!   Okay, so not complete behavioral changes but anything that Riley had going on in his head pre-surgery has been put on a stage, groomed, and the spot light is on -so to speak.   For example, Riley's ADD is off the charts.  Riley's obsessions have worsened to such a degree that, you see that adorable smiley face at the end of this page?, that smiley face is plastered on just about every wall in my house.  They are held prisoner on my fridge.  Riley's brain is stuck on this image and he won't draw anything else. 
Yes, we do see a psychologist together.  Cognitive behavioral therapy of sorts.  The Dr. said it's ok to keep the drawings up and around but my instinct is to rip them up and throw them away.  At this point I want to slap them anyway.  But we press on.  So, I encourage Riley to draw other things and then he can indulge himself with Mr. Smiley.  We looked through an art book yesterday and I asked Riley to copy one painting he liked without tracing it.  He chose the painting WOMAN MEDITATING by Alexei von Jawlensky and within 5 minutes Riley imitated Alexei's painting in a breathtaking way.  Breathtaking for his momma anyway and his big sisters gushed and praised.  The drawing was whimsical and beautiful.  Riley was very proud of himself and with "Riley, you will be an artist" dancing off of my lips he did what he does best and that was smile!  Riley then proceeded to try to rip up his "woman meditating" because I replaced his Mr. Smiley drawing on the fridge.  Well, shame on me.  After some deep breathing exercises (on my son's part) we decided to put Mr. Smiley back in it's designated spot and the "woman meditating" was banned to the side of the fridge.
Damn you Mr. Smiley!!